* Regular naps prevent old age... especially if you take them while driving.

* Having one child makes you a parent; having two makes you a referee.

* Marriage is a relationship in which one person is always right and the other is the husband!

* They said we should all pay our tax with a smile. I tried - but they wanted cash.

* A child's greatest period of growth is the month after you've purchased new school uniforms.

* Don't feel bad. A lot of people have no talent.

* Don't marry the person you want to live with, marry the one you cannot live without, but whatever you do, you'll regret it later.

* You can't buy love . . . but you pay heavily for it.

* True friends stab you in the front.

* Forgiveness is giving up my right to hate you for hurting me.

* Bad officials are elected by good citizens who do not vote.

* Laziness is nothing more than the habit of resting before you get tired.

* My wife and I always compromise. I admit I'm wrong and she agrees with me.

* Those who can't laugh at themselves leave the job to others.

* It doesn't matter how often a married man changes his job, he still ends up with the same boss.

* They call our language the mother tongue because the father seldom gets chance to speak.

* Saving is the best thing. Especially when your parents have done it for you.

* Wise men talk because they have something to say; fools talk because they have to say something.

* Real friends are the ones who survive transitions between address books.