[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ Philosophy- dying

[Janie]

Sometimes it's hard to jump into a place and discuss your deepest thoughts, but there are some things I think about and I may as well put them down where I've been invited to.

I have been given a timeline for living. I'm sort of used to it now, although I still think of it every day. It took care of that old question "Would you want to know, or not want to know." I was already told.

It changes so many things. Each day or week things get a little bit harder. You don't run out and get a boyfriend because it wouldn't be fair to drag someone else through this. You don't talk about it with those closest to you because it causes them pain. You just dance alone. And dancing alone sucks.

Another saying: "Live each day as though it were your last." A good saying, but as the end nears you get tireder, things hurt more. You don't have the strength to be the good example to everyone. Why would you want to live like that?

I hope someone will talk to me about this.

[Ratrap]

I have spinal muscle atrophy. Since i was born i knew i was'nt going to live long.

80% die before the age of 6. Now i am 18, can't lift my Arms, hardly swallow or chew stuff, didn't leave house for 5 years(I can't).

I am alone, 24hours a day in my room, without Future.

It's going to end soon, my muscles die, the Heart is one big muscle.

I didn't tell this to say i am in the worse situation. i just try to show peeps that they have alot more.

Your Age ... you are "old", i will never reach that age, if i have luck i get 20. I will never have a daughter, the most thing i wish for. And every night i go to my bed, it's cold, dark ... but i learned to enjoy the darkness.

Face your end, but don't care about it, you seem to be a really lively person. You have persons around you to share the burden, i don't :) My father cheated on my mum, my sister bashed at my mother so i tried to guard her and got my bones broken. My mother is ill aswell, not as hard as me but hard enough ...


Sorry for my english :(