IPB

Welcome Guest ( Log In | Register )

[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+

> I need a bit of advice, regarding a recent dispute with someone

Deepone
post Jun 1 2006, 06:43 AM
Post #1


The One Deep Down
*****

Group: Private Member
Posts: 1137
Joined: 12-May 04
From: Masala / Kirkkonummi / Finland
Member No.: 101



I dont really know whether I should post this into bitching section, or philosophy or here, but since I'm actually asking for advice this might be the most approciate place for it, even if it has implications of those other possibilities too.
well, the thing is that I had some talk with him. In the end he went on to say something that just hurt me more than anything anyone else has said to me. I suspect he didnt mean it as badly as it came out..
anyway, I had said that my friend was held captive at US airport for the sole reason that she wasnt from there. This person then replied it was right because she was foreigner. I was supposed to go to work with him and some other members of my family today but might not be a surprise I skipped that now (just plain too furious).
The thing where I need advice is how should I handle the situation, and what kind of things I should and shouldnt tell back to him ? I have been thinkin of some things that I might be forced to do (like saying he isnt welcome to my wedding - hey there are going to come foreigners, heck, even my wife is!) but for now, I just thought its best thing to first calm down a lot more before I decide anything that has further conseguences.
oh and Late2000 and Oleva Orava, please do _NOT_ show this thread to him. The advices from both of you are welcome thought.

EDIT: basically, I must confront him sooner or later. unfortunately it seems to be sooner because my little sister (who has nothing to do with this) has graduation parties. Not sure if I'm yet ready tho :(

This post has been edited by Deepone: Jun 1 2006, 10:56 PM


--------------------
This person is best talked to with the help of a computer..
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post
 
Reply to this topicStart new topicStart Poll
Replies
Messenger
post Jun 2 2006, 10:32 PM
Post #2


nFm [ Level 2 ]
****

Group: Full Member
Posts: 361
Joined: 23-April 04
From: OZ
Member No.: 89



Sounds like he has just stated his opinion on what happened, and his thoughts on it. You asked for his opinion/advice and he was honest with you ... You shouldn't hold anything against him simply because he has a differing opinion than your own - that's what makes us individuals. Would you prefer that he lie to you?
Family are the people you should be the most willing to forgive for their shortcomings - you could always make the most of the opportunity to discuss your opinion on the matter with him and try to bring him around to your way of thinking. Though you have to remind yourself that he has come from a different generation of life and thinking than you - the events of our past is what shapes us in the future - things may have happened in his life before you even existed that has shaped his thinking.
I think you are being overly sensitive about his statement due to the person involved being your friend. To do things such as uninvite him to the wedding over a single statement would be a major overreaction which you would DEEPLY regret as the years pass.
Calmly discuss your concern with him and I'm sure it will work out.
User is offlineProfile CardPM
Go to the top of the page
+Quote Post

Posts in this topic


Reply to this topicTopic OptionsStart new topic
1 User(s) are reading this topic (1 Guests and 0 Anonymous Users)
0 Members:
 

Lo-Fi Version Time is now: 3rd July 2025 - 06:34 PM