I have never understood why the s*xual urge of men and women differ so
much...

FOR EXAMPLE: One evening last week, my wife and I were getting into bed.
The passion starts to heat up, when she eventually said "I don't feel
like it, I just want you to hold me."

I said "WHAT ? What was that?!"

So she says the words that every husband on the planet dreads to hear...
"You're just not in touch with my emotional needs as a woman enough for
me to satisfy your physical needs as a man." She then responded to my
puzzled look by saying, "Can't you just love me for who I am and not
for what I do in the bedroom?" Realizing that nothing was going to
happen that night, I went to sleep...

The very next day I opted to take the day off of work to spend time
with her. We went out to a good lunch and then went shopping at a
very big department store. I walked around with her while she tried on
several different very expensive outfits. She couldn't decide which
one to take so I told her we'd just buy them all. She wanted new
shoes to complement her new clothes, so I said "Let's get a pair for
each outfit".

We went onto the jewelry department where she picked out a pair of
diamond earrings. Let me tell you...she was so excited. She must have
thought I was one wave short of a shipwreck. I started to think she
was testing me because she then asked for a tennis bracelet when she
doesn't even know how to play tennis.

I think I threw her when I said, "That's fine, honey." She was almost
nearing s*xual satisfaction from all of the excitement. Smiling with
excited anticipation she finally said, "I think this is all dear,
let's go to the cashier."

I could hardly contain myself when I blurted out, "No honey, I don't
feel like it." Her face just went completely blank as her jaw dropped
with a baffled "WHAT?" I then said "Honey! I just want you to HOLD
this stuff for a while. You're just not in touch with my financial
needs as a man enough for me to satisfy your shopping needs as a woman.
" And just when she had this look like she was going to kill me, I
added, "Why can't you just love me for who I am and not for the things
I buy you?"

Apparently I'm not having s*x tonight either.