[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ Beer versus....

[Streetwise]

1.Beer is always wet. Vagina needs a little work.
One point to BEER

2.Warm beer tastes awful.
One point to VAGINA

3.A really cold beer is satisfying.
One point to BEER

4.If after taking a swig of your favourite beer you find a hair between your teeth, you may vomit.
One point to VAGINA

5. If you get home reeking of beer your wife may get mad,make a scene, kick you out, etc. If you get home reeking of vagina your wife may get mad, kick you out, even leave you. There's definitely a point to be had here, depending on your point of view and personal circumstances.

I'll just call it a DRAW for the time being.

6. Ten beers in one night and you can't drive home. Ten vaginas in one night and you don't want to drive anywhere.
One point to VAGINA

7. If you have a lot of beer in a public place, your reputation may suffer. If you eat any pussy in public, you become a legend.
One point to VAGINA

8. If a cop stops you and you smell of beer you may get arrested. If you smell of vagina he may buy you a beer.
One point to VAGINA

9. You normally don't find old beer.
One point to BEER

10. Too much beer and you'll think you see flying saucers. Too much vagina and you'll think you've seen god.
One point to VAGINA

11. Ripping off a beer bottle label is boring. Ripping off panties is fun.
One point to VAGINA

12. In most countries there's a tax on beer.
One point to VAGINA

13. If you have another beer the first one never gets pissed off
One point to BEER

14. You can always be sure if you're the first one to open a bottle or a can.
One point to BEER

15. If you shake beer it'll get all agitated but it eventually it settles down.
One point to BEER

16. With beer you always have choice: clear, dark, pilsner, ale, lager,etc
One point to BEER

17. You always know how much beer is going to cost
One point to BEER

18. Beer doesn't have a mother
One point to BEER

19. Beer never expects to be hugged for half an hour after you've drunk it
One point to BEER


FINAL SCORE: BEER: 10 VAGINA: 8

That's it! The matter is settled, the clear winner is: BEER

PS: If you are a woman and at this point feel angry, degraded or discriminated, just remember that Beer would experience none of those feelings, let alone express them,

an extra point for BEER!

[Pikaporeon]

And, for those who put more thought into this :

A beer is always wet.

A pussy needs encouragement.

Advantage: Beer.



A beer tastes horrible served hot.

A pussy tastes better served hot.

Advantage: Pussy.



Having an ice cold beer makes you satisfied.

Having an ice cold pussy makes you Hillary Clinton.

Advantage: Beer.



Beers have commercials making fun of skunky ones.

Pussy does not.

Advantage: Draw.



If you get a hair in your teeth consuming pussy, you are not disgusted.

Advantage: Pussy



24 beers come in a box.

A pussy is a box you can come in.

Advantage: Pussy.



Too much head makes you mad at the person giving you a beer.

Advantage: Pussy.



If a beer is brewed with yeast, it is still edible.

Advantage: Beer.



If you come home smelling like beer, The Woman may get mad.

If you come home smelling like pussy, she will definitely get mad.

Advantage: Beer.



6 beers in a night and you better not drive.

6 pussies in a night and you have done all the driving you need.

Advantage: Pussy



Buy too much beer and you will get fat.

Buy too much pussy and you will get poor.

Advantage: Draw



It is socially acceptable to have a beer in the stands at a football game.

You are a legend if you have a pussy in the stands at a football game.

Advantage: Pussy



If a cop smells beer on your breath, you are going to get a breathalyzer.

If a cop smells pussy on your breath, you are going to get a high five.

Advantage: Pussy



With beer, bigger is better.

Advantage: beer.



Wearing a condom does not make a beer any less enjoyable.

Advantage: beer.



Pussy can make you see God.

Beer can make you see the porcelain God.

Advantage: Pussy



If you think all day about the next pussy you will have, you are normal.

If you think all day about your next beer, you are an alcoholic.

Advantage: Pussy



Peeling labels off of beers is fun.

Peeling panties off of pussy is more fun.

Advantage: Pussy.



If you try to snag a beer at work, you get fired.

If you try to snag a pussy at work, you get hit with sexual harassment.

Advantage: Draw



If you suddenly drop a beer, it may break.

If you suddenly drop a pussy, it may hunt you down like the dog you are.

Advantage: Beer.



If you change to another beer, your old brand will gladly have you back.

Advantage: beer.



The best pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Pussy.



The worst pussy you have ever had is not gone once you have enjoyed it.

Advantage: Beer.



Bad beer: Schlitz, Pabst Blue Ribbon, Old Swill.

Bad pussy: Roseanne, Janet Reno, Madeline Albright.

Advantage: Draw



Good beer: Guinness, Sam Adams, Killian's Red

Good pussy: Almost all but the above.

Advantage: Pussy.



The government taxes beer.

Advantage: Pussy.



It's a close call, but the numbers never lie.

Advantage: Pussy.