Ethel loved to speed in her wheelchair and charge around the nursing home,
taking corners on one wheel and getting up to maximum speed on the long
corridors. Because the poor woman was one sandwich short of a picnic, the
other residents tolerated her, and some of the males actually joined in.

One day, Ethel was speeding up one corridor when a door opened and Kooky
Clarence stepped out with his arm outstretched. "STOP!" he shouted in a firm
voice. "Have you got a license for that thing?" Ethel fished around in her
handbag and pulled out a Kit Kat wrapper and held it up to him "OK" he
said, and away Ethel sped down the hall.

As she took the corner near the TV lounge on one wheel, Weird Harold popped
out in front of her and shouted, "STOP! Have you got proof of insurance?
"Ethel dug into her handbag, pulled out a drink coaster and held it up to
him. Harold nodded and said, "Carry on, ma'am." As Ethel neared the final
corridor before the front door, Crazy Craig stepped out in front of her,
stark naked, holding a very sizable erection in his hand.

"Oh, good grief," said Ethel, "Not the breathalyzer again!"