Constipated People Don't Give A crap .

Practice Safe Sex, Go Screw Yourself.

If You Drink, Don't Park. Accidents Cause People.

Who Lit The Fuse On Your Tampon?

Please Tell Your Pants It's Not Polite To Point.



If That Phone Was Up Your Butt,
Maybe You Could Drive A Little Better.

My Kid Got Your Honor Roll Student Pregnant.

If At First You Don't Succeed,
Blame Someone Else And Seek Counseling!

Impotence: Nature's Way Of Saying "No Hard Feelings".

Horn Broken ... Watch For Finger.



It's Not How You Pick Your Nose, But Where You Put The Booger.

If You're Not A Hemorrhoid, Get Off My butt.

I Have The Body Of A God ... Buddha

This Would Be Really Funny If It Weren't Happening To Me

So Many Pedestrians - So Little Time

Cleverly Disguised As A Responsible Adult



If We Quit Voting, Will They All Go Away?

Eat Right, Exercise, Die Anyway

Illiterate? Write For Help

Honk If Anything Falls Off

Cover Me. I'm Changing Lanes



He Who Hesitates Is Not Only Lost But Miles From The Next Exit

I Refuse To Have A Battle Of Wits With An Unarmed Person

You! Out Of The Gene Pool!

If Sex Is A Pain In The butt, Then You're Doing It Wrong...

Fight Crime: Shoot Back!



If You Can Read This, Please Flip Me Back Over...
[Seen upside down on a jeep]

Remember Folks: Stop Lights Timed For 35 mph...
Are Also Timed for 70 mph.

Guys: No Shirt, No Service - Gals: No Shirt, No Charge

Ax Me About Ebonics

Body By Nautilus; Brain By Mattel



Boldly Going Nowhere

Cat: The Other White Meat

Caution - Driver Legally Blonde

Heart Attacks ...
God's Revenge For Eating His Animal Friends.

How Many Roads Must A Man Travel Down...
Before He Admits He is lost?

Money Isn't Everything, But Poverty Sucks!

Saw It ... Wanted It ... Had A Fit ... Got It!



All Men Are Animals, Some Just Make Better Pets.

Some people are alive only because it is illegal to shoot them

I used to have a handle on life, but it broke.

WANTED: Meaningful overnight relationship.

So you're a feminist...Isn't that precious.

I need someone really bad...Are you really bad?