The Center for Disease Control has issued a warning about a new virulent strain of sexually transmitted disease. This disease is contracted through dangerous and high risk behavior.

The disease is called Gonorrhea Lectim
(pronounced "gonna re-elect him").

Many victims have contracted it after having been screwed for the past 4 years, in spite of having taken measures to protect themselves from this especially troublesome disease.

Cognitive symptoms of individuals infected with Gonorrhea Lectim include but are not limited to:

* Anti-social personality disorder traits
* delusions of grandeur with a distinct messianic flavor
* chronic mangling of the English language
* extreme cognitive dissonance
* inability to incorporate new information
* inability to accept responsibility for actions
* pronounced xenophobia
* exceptional cowardice masked by acts of misplaced bravado
* uncontrolled facial smirking
* ignorance of geography and history
* tendencies toward creating evangelical theocracies
* a strong propensity for categorical, all-or-nothing behavior.

The disease is sweeping throughout Washington. Naturalists and epidemiologists are amazed and baffled that this malignant disease originated only a few years ago in a Texas Bush.