10 Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris
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| Janie |
 Jan 16 2006, 01:14 AM
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#1
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 nFm [ Level 1 ]  Group: Full Member Posts: 239 Joined: 20-October 05 From: Springdale, ARKANSAS Member No.: 182  |
10 Little Known Facts About Chuck Norris 1. Chuck Norris' tears cure cancer. Too bad he has never cried. 2. A man once asked Chuck Norris if his real name is "Charles". Chuck Norris did not respond, he simply stared at him until the man exploded. 3. Rather than being birthed like a normal child, Chuck Norris instead decided to punch his way out of his mother's womb. Shortly thereafter he grew a beard. 4. Chuck Norris built a time machine and went back in time to stop the JFK assassination. As Oswald shot, Chuck met all three bullets with his beard, deflecting them. JFK's head exploded out of sheer amazement. 5. The original theme song to the Transformers was actually "Chuck Norris--more than meets the eye, Chuck Norris--robot in disguise, " and starred Chuck Norris as a Texas Ranger who defended the earth from drug-dealing Decepticons and could turn into a pick-up. This was far too much awesome for a single show, however, so it was divided up. 6. Chuck Norris was the fourth Wiseman. He brought baby Jesus the gift of "beard". Jesus wore it proudly to his dying day. The other Wisemen, jealous of Jesus' obvious gift favoritism, used their combined influence to have Chuck omitted from the Bible. Shortly after all three died of roundhouse kick related deaths. 7. Chuck Norris once shot a German plane down with his finger, by yelling, "Bang!" 8. When Chuck Norris plays Oregon Trail his family does not die from cholera or dysentery, but rather roundhouse kicks to the face. He also requires no wagon, since he carries the oxen, axels, and buffalo meat on his back. He always makes it to Oregon before you. 9. Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs. 10. Chuck Norris does not sleep. He waits. --------------------  |
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| Pikaporeon |
Jan 16 2006, 03:13 AM
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 Advanced Curveball Champion! ...Then I Defy You, Stars Group: Private Member Posts: 426 Joined: 26-March 04 From: Canadia Member No.: 70 |
One day Chuck Norris walked down the street with a huge erection. there were no survivors
-------------------- A British company is developing small computer chips that can store music
in women's breasts. This is considered a major breakthrough since women complain about men staring at their breasts and not listening to them. |
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| Bdn |
Jan 16 2006, 05:28 AM
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nFm [ progressor ] Group: Full Member Posts: 172 Joined: 28-March 04 Member No.: 75 |
-------------------- Formerly M0RPhEuS ..for some reason. Things we do when younger.
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| Streetwise |
Jan 16 2006, 07:49 AM
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 Le Papillon Group: Private Member Posts: 1993 Joined: 18-March 04 From: The lowlands Member No.: 12 |
This Chuck Norris thing is new to me. Weird stuff.
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| TWINE006 |
Jan 16 2006, 04:27 PM
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 Narcissism Incarnate Group: Private Member Posts: 475 Joined: 18-March 04 Member No.: 25 |
Ahahahaha, I've heard em all but that one is my favorite by far. The Law and Order one is pretty good too. -------------------- You can win a thousand battles but you can still only lose one.
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