One Saturday I was running errands for my wife. I had gone to Wal-Mart
and was standing in line waiting to buy a large bag of Purina for my
Labrador Retriever. A woman behind me looking at the bag, asked if I had
a dog.

On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting The Purina Diet again,
although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last
time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care
ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and that the way that it
works is to load your pants pockets with Purina nuggets and simply eat one
or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally
complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the line was by now
enthralled with my story, particularly a tall guy behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd been poisoned and was that why I was in the
hospital.

I said no.....I'd been sitting in the street licking my balls and a car
hit me.

I thought the tall guy was going to have to be carried out the door.