You Know You Are Having a Bad Day When...

- You put your bra on backwards and it fits better.

- Your twin sister forgets your birthday.

- Your birthday cake collapses from the weight of the candles.

- You put both contacts in the same eye.

- You awake naked, then go to put on the same clothes you wore home
from the company Christmas party the night before, but when you
search at the foot of your bad and all around the bedroom floor you
don't find any clothes.

- You turn on the news and they are showing escape routes out of the
city.

- You walk to work and later discover that your dress is stuck in the
back of your pantyhose.

- You call your answering service and they tell you it's none of your
business who called.

- Your blind date turns out to be your ex.

- You call suicide prevention and they put you on hold.

And the Surest Sign You Are Having a Bad Day...

- You wake up to realize your waterbed has burst... but then recall
that you've never owned a waterbed.