Outline · [ Standard ] · Linear+ Ridiculously Funny Signs & some other goodies, from Sandeep @ hi5

[Deepone]

In a public restroom of a hi-rise office building:

TOILET OUT OF ORDER.....PLEASE USE FLOOR BELOW

In a Laundromat:

AUTOMATIC WASHING MACHINES: PLEASE REMOVE ALL YOUR CLOTHES WHEN THE LIGHT
GOES OUT

In a London department store:

BARGAIN BASEMENT UPSTAIRS

In an office:

WOULD THE PERSON WHO TOOK THE STEP LADDER YESTERDAY PLEASE BRING IT BACK OR
FURTHER STEPS WILL BE TAKEN

In an office:

AFTER TEA BREAK STAFF SHOULD EMPTY THE TEAPOT AND STAND UPSIDE DOWN ON THE
DRAINING BOARD

Outside a secondhand shop:

WE EXCHANGE ANYTHING - BICYCLES, WASHING MACHINES, ETC. WHY NOT BRING YOUR
WIFE ALONG AND GET A WONDERFUL BARGAIN?

Notice in health food shop window:

CLOSED DUE TO ILLNESS

Spotted in a safari park:

ELEPHANTS PLEASE STAY IN YOUR CAR

Seen during a conference:

FOR ANYONE WHO HAS CHILDREN AND DOESN'T KNOW IT, THERE IS A DAY CARE ON THE
1ST FLOOR

Notice in a farmer's field:

THE FARMER ALLOWS WALKERS TO CROSS THE FIELD FOR FREE, BUT THE BULL
CHARGES.

On a repair shop door:

WE CAN REPAIR ANYTHING. (PLEASE KNOCK HARD ON THE DOOR - THE BELL DOESN'T
WORK)

This post has been edited by Deepone: Jan 27 2007, 10:03 PM

[Deepone]

HOW TO START YOUR DAY WITH A POSITIVE OUTLOOK

1 . Open a new file in your PC .


2. Name it " Boss "

3. Send it to the RECYCLE BIN

4 . Empty the RECYCLE BIN

5. Your PC will ask you, "Are you sure you want to delete Boss permanently?"

6. Answer calmly, "Yes," and press the mouse button firmly....

7. Feel better?

HAVE A NICE DAY

[Deepone]

Kids in school think quickly


TEACHER : Maria, go to the map and find NorthAmerica.
MARIA : Here it is!
TEACHER : Correct. Now class, who discoveredAmerica?
CLASS : Maria!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Why are you late, Frank?
FRANK : Because of the sign.
TEACHER : What sign?
FRANK : The one that says,"School Ahead, Go Slow."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN : You told me to do it without using tables!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Glenn, how do you spell "crocodile?"
GLENN : K-R-O-K-O-D-A-I-L"
TEACHER : No, that's wrong
GLENN : Maybe it s wrong, but you asked me how I spell it!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD : H I J K L M N O!!
TEACHER : What are you talking about?
DONALD : Yesterday you said it's H toO!
___________________________________________________________

TEACHER : Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn't have ten years ago.
WINNIE : Me!
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Goss, why do you always get so dirty?
GOSS : Well, I'm a lot closer to the ground than you are.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Millie, give me a sentence startingwith "I."
MILLIE : I is...
TEACHER : No, Millie..... Always say, "Iam."
MILLIE : All right... "I am the ninth letter of the alphabet."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Can anybody give an example of COINCIDENCE?
TINO : Sir, my Mother and Father got married on the same day, same time."
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father's cherry tree,but also admitted doing it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn't punish him?"
LOUIS : Because George still had the axe in his hand.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON : No sir, I don'thave to, my Mom is a good cook.
___________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Clyde, your composition on "MyDog" is exactly the same as your brother's. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, teacher, it'sthe same dog!;
__________________________________________________________
TEACHER : Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD : A teacher.

[PimpScourge]

hi5?

[Deepone]

http://www.hi5.com/ - it is a place like friendster. And also place where I met my fiancée ;)

[PimpScourge]

cool! I'm in it now. How can I find you there?

[Deepone]

Ought you might have guessed... anyways, with my real name (Lasse) you will get to somewhere - 209471 is my userid for you and others to get scared of ;)

[PimpScourge]

do you speak japanese? by watching anime?

btw, i added you ;)

[Deepone]

I have actually taken some lessons on my school for it as well :) The interest for that came from anime though ;) not that I would speak it enough to actually watch anime without subtitles though :(