^ATOMIC^
Jul 19 2004, 01:21 AM
Well guys its time for me to post what has been happaning in my life since it is pissing me off and eating me inside....
For all of you that remember my girlfriend Natalie, who was once on this forum and chatted in the irc channel. We have now broken up
whitch is the worst thing in my lfie that could ever happen. It has been a week now since we have broken up and life has been hell for me. Sleeping eating everything and now school has started back up again its hard even more with the work load that is going to be hiting me. (P.S. i'm not leaving the forum its not one of thoese posts)
But jsut wanted to tell you guys thats why me been missing for the last week or two becasue life has jsut been shit. 2 and a half years gone like that we still friends but its still fucking hard.
Thats it for now jstu thinking and typing about this is hurting....................
bloodshot
Jul 19 2004, 02:25 AM
/hugs
Everything ends up good in the end. Remember that. Also coming from me this might sound totally correct to the 'established' group here.
But here's my advice: Women suck
but always give the money to us and we be happy.
Awai
Jul 19 2004, 09:58 AM
sorry to hear that atomic - keep moving yourself forwards its hard but times a great friend and will sort you out in the end.
Awai.
Messenger
Jul 19 2004, 10:56 AM
| QUOTE (^ATOMIC^ @ Jul 19 2004, 01:21 AM) |
| 2 and a half years gone like that we still friends |
That's harsh .... you're a bigger man than me ... couldn't bring myself to do that after so long together
Bearsland
Jul 19 2004, 01:22 PM
I'm sorry to hear this mate.
To repeat what Awai says: Time is a great healer. You're young and have lots of time to get over this. Sure, it hurts like Hell right now, but you will get over it. Glad to know you and Nat will stay friends.
~Bear
SailCat
Jul 19 2004, 10:31 PM
Sorry to hear you're going through a tough time, ^ATOMIC^, but you will look back fondly on your relationship with Natalie while giving thanks that you were available when The Right One comes along.
Time really
will heal the pain ....
~SC
dInferno
Jul 19 2004, 10:50 PM
I know it sux to end a long term relationship. My last g/f and I were together for 4 yrs, so trust me, I know what you are feeling (and going through). I know this is going to sound bad, but it is going to get worse before it gets better (trust me on that one).
But what everyone here is saying about time healing all is true. You will never forget her, but you will slowly realize you can live without her. Another thing that will be hard is staying friends. I'm not saying that you and her will grow to dislike each other, but it is difficult to see someone you care about so much moving on without you. And trust me on this one, old habits/memories die hard (the last time my x-g/f and I talked, we called each other by our pet names. We didn’t mean too, but we did).
Well, I'm done digging up old memories. I do hope everything turns out ok. Be glad you have a close group of friends you can turn to here if you need anything.
^ATOMIC^
Jul 20 2004, 12:02 AM
thx guys its helpig alot....
another bad thing is now that i see that i'm hurting so much i'm tring to get back with her whitch is making things worse i keep thinking that it can work and that i can't live without her and every time i think about ti i think i can do something to cahnge it we talked the other night and she came over and we talked and argued and i do still call her by her pet name not meaning it and then we even kissed whitch made it 100% worse.....but it wsa good
the only problem is this was my longest and i can't stand to see it go. I know that time will help and i thought i was goign alright the first week but now that it is in the second week it got harder and thats the problem is it goign tog et harder by week by week and then one week i'll be alright and then the next i will feel like crap i keep thinking if i send her gifts or take her out that it may get back together we both still love each other but tere little things that stop it getting back together like fighting...but hey im sure that if it was ment to get back it will.
DutchKid
Jul 20 2004, 09:15 AM
You'll have to leave it alone. Don't keep trying, that's what is keeping it fresh and makes it harder to get over it. She might be a great girl, but she's probably not the great girl for you. I know that it sounds stupid, especialy at this time, but I've found it to be true. The right one for you will come around someday, the only Q is; When. It's great that you two are still talking, but that's also something that makes it hurt more and more. My advice is: take a step back, don't see her for a month or so. Inform her that you're gonna do so, so she's not gonna contact you. Just step back, take a look at what you feel. Actualy let those feelings be felt by yourself. Then think about how that felt and if you want THAT to last, you probably don't. The only cure is to let it end. That way you can still be friends at a later stage. The way you're going right now will only make it harder between you two and it'll one day explode.
My 2 cents...
PS: I'm really sorry that this happened...
SailCat
Jul 20 2004, 03:44 PM
Y'know, ^ATOMIC^, you reminded me of myself (as I'm sure you have many guys) who, following a breakup, continue to have contact with a girlfriend (or continue to try). I have done this on more than one occasion ....
What many men do is "whatever it takes" to get the woman back into their life. This is a mistake. In the past, I have sent flowers, written poetry and songs, made videotapes, called her friends ... well, you get the idea.
Many men do this and it not only prolongs the pain but inevitably makes us look pitiful.
I have since met that special woman and am happily married. I look back now and realize that I would not have been as happy with any one of the women that I thought I couldn't live without. You will, too.
Your friends at nFm care and we're here for you!
~SC
ManX
Jul 20 2004, 05:02 PM
| QUOTE (DutchKid @ Jul 20 2004, 02:15 AM) |
My advice is: take a step back, don't see her for a month or so. Inform her that you're gonna do so, so she's not gonna contact you.
The only cure is to let it end. That way you can still be friends at a later stage. |
As a certified 'old fart' who has been married twice before my current (and last) one, I agree with DutchKid 100%.
Even tho' it is really hard, you should try stepping back -way back. So far back that you don't see her or talk to her for at least a few weeks, and a month or more if possible.
Will it hurt? Sure it will. Will you find yourself making all kinds of excuses as to why you should see her or talk to her again? You betcha. But just like a toothache, the more you play with it the more it hurts. Just leave her alone while you work things out inside your own head.
I screwed up my 1st marriage... and I didn't want to let go - even when she divorced me. I hung around and tried all sorts of crazy ideas to try and get back what I'd lost, but the only thing I got was more emotional pain. The only way I found to actually take the advice I (and DutchKid) am giving was to move 2000 miles away. That did it, and within a few weeks I started to recover.
I learned from that. My 2nd marriage ended when she and I realized we made great friends - but a lousy husband and wife. We BOTH stepped away for a month or two after the divorce, and now we are still close friends. We email, we chat on the phone, we laugh, and their ain't any hangups about what used-to-be.
As 'Da Kid says: Let it end. Later, if you both want to, you can be friends again.
Best of luck fighting yourself... I know you'll do right in the end.
-ManX
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