IDIOTS IN THE NEIGHBORHOOD: I live in a semi-rural area. We recently had a new neighbor call the local township administrative office to request the removal of the Deer Crossing sign on our road. The reason: "too many deer were being hit by cars" and he didn't want them to cross there anymore.

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IDIOT SIGHTING: I was at the airport, checking in at the gate when an airport employee asked, "Has anyone put anything in your baggage without your knowledge?" To which I replied, "If it was without my knowledge, how would I know?" He smiled knowingly and nodded, "That's why we ask."

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IDIOTS IN FOOD SERVICE: My daughter went to a local Taco Bell and ordered a taco. She asked the person behind the counter for "minimal lettuce." He said he was sorry, but they only had iceberg.



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IDIOT SIGHTING: The stoplight on the corner buzzes when it's safe to cross the street. I was crossing with an intellectually challenged coworker of mine when she asked if I knew what the buzzer was for. I explained that it signals blind people when the light is red. Appalled, she responded, "What on earth are blind people doing driving?!"


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IDIOT SIGHTING: At a good-bye luncheon for an old and dear coworker who was leaving the company due to "downsizing," our manager commented cheerfully, "this is fun. We should do this more often." Not a word was spoken. We all just looked at each other with that deer-in-the-headlights stare.


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IDIOT SIGHTING: I work with an individual who plugged her power strip back into itself and for the life of her couldn't understand why her system would not turn on.


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IDIOT SIGHTING: When my husband and I arrived at an car dealership to pick up our car, we were told the keys had been locked in it. We went to the service department and found a mechanic working feverishly to unlock the driver's side door. As I watched from the passenger side, I instinctively tried the door handle and discovered that it was unlocked. "Hey," I announced to the technician, "it's open!" To which he replied, "I know - I already got that side."

They walk among us..............scary!!

Lol, the airport one is quite good.

These idiots make dumb blondes look downright brilliant.

captbics

I loved the last one 'cause it reminded me of something that happened when I went out drinking with some friends a long while back.
There were 3 of us drinking (heavily) and the 4th was our designated driver. Anyway, the night came to an end and we headed back to her car (in one of those "Pay per hour" parking garages) to get a lift home. It went something like this:

Sarah: "Oh no .... oh don't do this to me .... dammit!"
Me: "What's up?"
Sarah: "The button on my remote's not working!" (central locking remote)
Me: "Oh OK ... did you drop it and damage it?"
Sarah: "No, the battery has been going flat, but I haven't had a chance to replace it yet .... oh no ... what are we gonna do?"
Me: "Give me the keys, I can get the doors open"
Sarah: "Typical man! Thinks just 'cause I can't get it to work that a MAN can do it! I'm not stupid you know... I can work a remote!"
Me: (laughing at her) "Just give me the keys, I'll get the doors open"
Sarah: "I SAID it doesn't work!! Don't you believe me! Dammit! We're going to have catch a taxi home and I'll have to go and get a new battery tomorrow and then catch a taxi back to get my car!! And it's going to cost a fortune to have my car parked here for that many hours! Dammit! "
Me: (Laughing really hard) "Sarah ... give me the keys so I can open the doors!"

The other 2 start laughing with me 'cause they're as drunk as I am and they think I'm just doing it to annoy Sarah

Sarah: "God I hate when you guys when you're drunk ... you just don't listen to me! (angry!) You want the keys?!? Here! Take the damn keys!!"

At this point she throws the keys at me (mainly at my head ) .... I calmly pick up the keys off the ground and say ...

Me: "So, do you want me to open the doors so we can go home or not?" (still laughing)

Sarah: (muttering to herself) "Do whatever the hell you like! It doesn't work!"

I calmly took the keys .... placed them in the door lock, and turned ..... PRESTO! Door open!

At this point, Sarah's jaw dropped with a stunned look ... the other 2 just lost it and were physically rolling on the ground with laughter!

It's amazing in this day of techonology that we forget the old school method of doing things still work! ROFL!! :lol

We were absolutely cracking up all the way home, while Sarah sat there in the Driver's seat as red as a tomato!

haha.. that's pretty good one

Sarah.... in the drivers seat....
Id be scared.