IN A RUSH? Cook your breakfast egg in half the time by replacing the water
in the pan with commercially available brake fluid which boils at 200c.

WORM farmers Double your yield by simply cutting every worm in half. Hey
presto! Each half will grow into a new worm.

MOTORISTS Avoid getting prosecuted for using your phone whilst driving.
Simply pop your mobile inside a large shell and the police will think you
are listening to the sea

SHOES last twice as long if only worn every other day.

SINGLE men Convince people that you have a girlfriend by standing outside
La Senza with several bags of shopping, looking at your watch and
occasionally glancing inside.

DIABOLISTS For the full effect when photographing Satan, make sure to
switch off your camera's red-eye reduction feature.

BOIL an egg to perfection without costly eggtimers by popping the egg into
boiling water and driving away from your home at exactly 60 mph. After 3
miles, phone your wife and tell her to take the egg out the pan.

ALCOHOLICS Don't worry where the next drink is coming from. Go to the pub,
where a large selection is available at retail prices.


A POST-IT note stuck beneath the nose is an ideal deterrent to
lip-readers.