A psychiatrist was conducting a group therapy session with four young
mothers and their small children.

"You all have obsessions," he observed.

To the first mother, he said, "You are obsessed with eating. You've even
named your daughter Candy."

He turned to the second Mom. "Your obsession is with money. Again, it
manifests itself in your child's name, Penny."

He turns to the third Mom. "Your obsession is alcohol. This too manifests
itself in your child's name, Brandy."

At this point, the fourth mother gets up, takes her little boy by the hand
and whispers, "Come on, Dick, we're leaving."

---

A man was digging in his garden, when his shovel hit a hard object
buried in the earth, which revealed itself to be an old bottle sealed
with a cork. The man wrenched the cork free and, to his astonishment,
there was a cloud of smoke and a clap of thunder. Standing before him
was a genie.

"As a reward for freeing me, I shall grant you three wishes," said the
genie, "But understand, whatever you wish for, your most hated enemy
shall receive twice over."

The man's most hated enemy happened to be his next door neighbour,
Jones. "Let's see. My first wish is..." He looked at his weather beaten
bungalow, "...to live in a ten story luxury mansion."

The genie clapped his hands and suddenly his minute shack transformed
into the most beautiful house he had ever laid eyes on. He heard a cry
of astonishment from next door and looked over to see Jones standing in
the doorway of his new twenty story mansion.

"Now I want fifty of the most beautiful women imaginable." said the
man. There was a puff of smoke and his wish was granted. He was
annoyed, however, to see Jones grinning and waving, surrounded by his
own harem of 100 women, all twice as attractive.
"What is your final wish, Master?" asked the genie".

"I want to lose a testicle," said the man.

these are funny