[ Outline ] · Standard · Linear+ killing myself...

[Blue_Muppet]

man, i drink too much, smoke too much.

fuck, i have calluses on my fingers from opening beer bottles too often, and nicotine stains on my fingers from smoking too much...im only fucking 20 years old...

i hear stories of youth suicide, and i dont think 'damn, thats unfortunate', but instead think of how fucked things can be, how emotion, money, and life can get me down, nad how im not alone, but alive...

why do i find life so hard as to resort to this crap? why do i listen to music that to most is depressing, but to me lifts me up for the companionship it provides for the feeling of depression that overwhlems me. fuck it why!?!?!?!?!

me, rant, needed to type this, dont care if you respond, just needed it...

[amourdevin]

Clinical depression is often not the result of your environment or will but a lack of free neurotransmitters (e.g., serotonin, norepinephrine) in your body. Being the problem is often organic, the solution often is also. Members of my family swear by Effexor. These are not "happy" pills . . . they are "normal" pills.

Studies show that the most effective treatments are both drugs and counseling.